


Learned Lessons

by CharmedImsure (LockLove)



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF, Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Angry Sex, Angst, Bullying, Eventual Happy Ending, High School, M/M, School Reunion, did i mention agnst, probably, time skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2020-10-05 05:57:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20484008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LockLove/pseuds/CharmedImsure
Summary: Armie is an all-American high-school jock who convinces himself he is absolutely not gay. He's going to prove it by kissing the only openly gay guy he knows. Things don't always go as planned.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A tumblr prompt by rainbowdazzle inspired this and I tip my hat to her for the idea.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In high school, Armie was a bully and he regrets it, will seeing Timothee Chalamet at the high school reunion offer a chance at redemption or more regret than he can handle?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fic prompt by Rainbowdazzle on Tumblr caught my eye a while back and this has been brewing ever since. If you like it you can thank her if you don't like it you can blame me. 
> 
> Unedited and unbeta'd all mistakes and goof ups are my own.

“Shut the fuck up Timmy,” Armie hisses even though the quiet mousy boy had barely said three words “let me think a fucking minute.”

Armie raked his hands through his thick, honey-blonde hair and pulled at it a bit at the ends. He doesn’t know how he got himself into this situation. What had he been thinking? He was co-captain of the football team, shoo-in for prom king, dating the head cheerleader and he’s having a sexual identity crisis with the school dork in a supply closet. Fine, the sexual identity crisis started months ago which led to him being in the closet with the dork but he doesn’t quite know how he let it go this far. 

It was supposed to be simple. Quash the thoughts he’d been having by kissing the only openly gay guy in the school. The one he _knows_ has a huge crush on him. A little kissing and he could prove to himself once and for all that it was just normal teenage boy hormones to find other men attractive. He was just curious. Once he actually kissed a guy he’d know that it wasn’t like the fantasies he’d been having lately. 

He _was not_ supposed to enjoy kissing the little fucker. 

And it was Timmy. Timothee. Book smart, computer savvy, gap-toothed, acne-prone, bespectacled gay know-it-all from his biology class. No way did he find that guy attractive. No. Fucking. Way. 

But in the supply closet, in the dark, his compact, little body had felt so good under Armie’s fingers. His lips were so soft and pliant, his tongue teasing Armie’s in just the right way. Where the hell did he learn to kiss like that? Who the hell is the only gay guy in the whole fucking school been kissing?

Armie shook those thoughts away. It was a stupid experiment, that’s all. The kiss with Timmy wasn’t special or anything, it wasn’t like he _really_ enjoyed it. He was just so wound up because Liz had been out of town and he hadn’t gotten laid in, like, a month. It wasn’t that he enjoyed kissing boys or looking at men. He just missed his girlfriend. Surely that was it. 

“Uh...Armie..” Timmy whispered ever so quietly but loud enough to jar Armie from his thoughts.

“Jesus Timmy I asked you to be quiet and let me think for a second,” he shook his head “I realize the fucking bell just rang and now the hallway is full of fucking people but give me a minute okay.”

The bell had interrupted them, thank god, otherwise, it’s untelling how far they’d have gone in here amongst the buckets and toilet cleaner. 

Fuck. 

“Look, I’m gonna slip out and you wait here for ten or fifteen minutes then do whatever.”

“Ten...you want me to stay here,” his voice cracks a bit “in the dark for ten minutes?”

“Jesus Christ,” Armie rolls his eyes heavenward in a plea for help “yes, Timmy we can’t waltz out of this fucking closet together in the middle of the goddam hallway while classes are changing.” Armie’s voice kept rising until he was almost yelling. 

“I know that but…”

“Fuck it, do whatever Tim” he sighed and slipped through the door and closed it quickly. He leaned back against it and closed his eyes for a second before taking a deep breath and pushing off into the flow of people. If anyone noticed him coming out of the tiny supply closet no one said a thing. As far as he was concerned, it was as if he had never been in there in the first place. 

Of course, it didn’t end there. It couldn’t be over and done with when you were dealing with the over-analytical dweeb who probably calculated statistics on weekends for fun. Armie prayed he could get through the day without laying eyes on the greasy, dark-haired head of his kissing partner but wouldn’t you know that was not to be. 

“Can I speak with you?” Timmy’s quiet voice could barely be overheard by all the talking and laughing at the lunch table where Armie sat with his teammates. He heard him though and just barely managed to control his rage and embarrassment. Why would he choose the cafeteria, why at the most crowded lunch period of the day?

“Back up fairy boy” Bryce, Armie’s teammate and captain of the team said to raucous laughter “this table is invitation only.”

“I don’t want to sit…” Timmy started to explain but was cut off.

“We know that asshole, go away.”

Timmy looked at Armie imploringly with his big green eyes as his lip started to wobble. 

“What do you want Chalamet?” Armie asked impatiently 

“I uhhh...I…”

“You’re wasting my lunch hour kid, spit it out.” 

Timmy looked around the table nervously and swallowed visibly before starting to speak again, “Well, I was just wondering if you wouldn’t mind to meet me after school…”

Armie had had enough. He dropped the burger he’d been holding onto his tray and stood up grabbing Timmy’s arm and led him away from his table “look, I don’t know what on earth I would have to meet you after school about but you can put that shit right out of your mind.” his voice boomed, loud as a clap of thunder. 

At this point, the entire cafeteria had gone silent. Every eye in the room was on the two boys who were standing in the middle of it. 

“I guess you have some kind of stupid crush on me or whatever but I’m not into that shit. You can forget that right now,” his voice only getting louder even as he realized the cafeteria was so quiet “you have to get over that, it ain’t happening. Got it.” Without waiting for an answer he left Timmy standing in the middle of the lunchroom. He didn’t hear the snickering and laughter, he didn’t see his teammates knock the shock-frozen boy from each side as they passed, he didn’t see Timmy’s tears like everyone else in the cafeteria, but Armie did run straight into the boy’s bathroom and throw up everything he’d just eaten. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Do you have everything you need?” he barely heard the words, their connection was terrible. 

“Yes, Nikki, I have everything.”

“The car will pick you up at the private entrance of the airstrip- Mel, your usual driver will be there. You’re booked at the W, your usual penthouse suite is ready and you’re checked in, Mel has the key.”

He grinned, “You’re too good to me Nikki, but you do know I can do these things myself. I’m not a child.”

“You have more important things to think about than checking into a hotel,” she answered curtly but he could hear the smile in her voice. 

“Not really,” he shrugged “there’s absolutely nothing going on except my high school reunion.” 

“Well, now all you have to worry about is tying your tie.” 

He could definitely hear the laughter in her voice now “you know I’m not going to wear the tie you packed, I don’t know why you bothered.”

“Someday we’ll get you raised, I may not be alive for it but I have hope.”

The “fasten seatbelt” light came on and he cradled the cell phone between his shoulder and ear so he could buckle up. 

“I gotta go, we’re getting ready to land. I hate this part.”

Nikki chuckled “Call me if you need anything Mr. Chalamet.” she said and disconnected the call. 

_ Paulie; knock em dead baby brother, call me later _

**_love you, thanks_**

Timmy stood in front of the mirror in his six thousand dollars a night suite -which, in his opinion, is god awful and ridiculous- and gave himself a pep talk. 

“You are not the same boy you were back then. You’ll go to the reunion, you’ll be cordial and mingle. You’ll be pleasant, charming, witty, and all the things Forbes continually calls you in their magazine.” he nodded to his reflection in the mirror. Which wasn’t so bad now, even if he was saying so himself. He ran his palms down the flat front of the black and red floral Alexander McQueen suit jacket and grinned. 

“Bet nobody else is wearing bespoke McQueen,” he said out loud to himself and then giggled. 

He wondered briefly if Hammer would be there. He wasn’t sure if he wanted him to be so he could see how he’d changed or if he didn’t want him to be there because he’d fallen off a cliff or couldn’t afford a plane ticket. 

Timmy sighed and shook his head. He didn’t really wish anyone ill. Mostly. Technically if it wasn’t for Armie Hammer he wouldn’t have high-tailed it out of town as soon as he graduated. He wouldn’t have met Ben on his summer travels. They wouldn’t have started their multi-billion dollar software company. His life may have been a lot different if Armie Hammer hadn’t been such a colossal douchenozzle. 

Timmy giggled again, “So definitely on the side of shoving your good fortune in his face.” 

Timmy slipped on his black, Louboutin boots -because two-thousand dollars for boots is not awful or ridiculous- and grabbed his wallet and hotel key off the nightstand. 

Either way, he thought, it’ll likely be an interesting night.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nick rolled his eyes “Look Armie, you have to go. You paid for a flight, which you took. You paid for a room, which we’re in. You paid an obscene amount for a fucking Armani suit because, you know, ARMANI sounds like Armie.” Nick shook his head at his oldest and best friend “you didn’t come all this way to eat street meat and watch porn in your room with me.”

“I might have,” Armie shrugged “I’ll let you pick the porn.”

“No one wants to watch a lot of porn, Armie, after ten minutes it’s atrocious.”

“Nick…,” Armie sighed and shook his head “look, I know that you knew me in high school but because your parents sent you to a posh private school you didn’t _know_ me in high school. I was awful. A confused, hormonal, closeted, jock jerkface.”

“Wrong”

“I really was, Nick.”

“Oh, yes you were. You were wrong about me not knowing.”

“What?”

“Armie, I know everything. When will you acknowledge.”

“Nick I…”

“Look, we were all assholes back then,” he gave Armie a pointed look “some of us more than others. But we’ve all grown, hopefully, learned lessons and changed. Look at you, you no longer get your letters addressed to 'The Boy in The Closet'” Nick smirked as he stood up and stalked over to Armie to grab his shoulders “I know you’re thinking about what you did to that boy, as you should be. But dude, if you could go into that horribly decorated ballroom tonight and make it right, how amazing would that be?”

“How do you make something like that right Nick? I humiliated him in front of our whole class, he was picked on before but after our...thing,” he gestured vaguely with his hands “it got ten times worse. I’ve never seen someone flee from graduation like that.”

“It was a shit thing you did, Armie, but if you go tonight and apologize he may accept it and he may not but at least you’ll have tried. Which is more than you’ve done in the twenty-odd years since it happened.”

Armie was silent, standing by the door to the bathroom holding his razor in his hand.

“What’s the absolute worst that could happen Armie, you’re all adults.”

“He could have bulked up by now and kick the shit out of me.” 

Nick grinned like a Cheshire cat and it unnerved Armie, to say the least.

“Well if that happens we’ll look on the bright side.”

“What would that be?”

“You’d have deserved it. Now go shave your pretty face, we’re going to be late.”

“Name,” The curvy blonde asked as he stepped up to the long table set up just outside the ballroom of the W hotel. 

“Armie”

“Oh my god Armie Hammer” the blonde’s grin widened “I knew it had to be you, you always were the tallest person in the room.” she grabbed a name tag with his name on it and came around the table to hug him before sticking the name tag on his lapel. 

“It’s…” Armie was feeling bad because he couldn’t place her but she waved her hand at him. 

“My name is Julia, I was a year below your class. I work for the school district so I help organize and work the reunions.” 

“Oh...well, nice to meet you Julia” he nodded and smiled his most charming smile “does my guest need a name tag?”

“Oh my, look at me forgetting to do my job.” she giggled and handed Nick a blank name tag and a marker “just put your name and relation on there hun.” 

Armie turned a second too late to stop Nick from writing “heterosexual life partner” on his tag. 

“Nick” Armie shook his head 

“What, I might meet some hot babe, I don’t want her to think I’ve got bad taste...just go” he pushed Armie by his shoulders and guided him into the ballroom. 

As soon as they stepped through the door Armie tensed. He let his eyes scan through the room hoping to see Timmy and also hoping he wasn’t there and wouldn’t show. He hadn’t been able to make himself look at the guest list on the reunion website. He had RSVP’d on the last date to do so and still hadn’t decided to come until yesterday. Although he had bought a plane ticket, booked a room, and bought a new suit. Even if he told himself he was undecided that was probably a bit of a lie.

“See anyone you recognize?” Nick asked 

“I guess,” Armie shrugged “but no Timmy”

“What’s he look like?”

“Fuck if I know, Nick, he was 17 last time I saw him. Short, skinny, greasy hair, coke bottle glasses, bad acne, crooked teeth”

“And this is the guy you chose to kiss for your first time?” Nick blinked rapidly “Why?”

“I told you he was the only openly gay guy at school, it wasn’t like you could go around asking random guys if they’d like to make out to help you in a crisis.”

“I hope he punches you.” Nick nodded before heading off toward the bar. 

“Armie Hammer” someone shrieked from behind him and he stiffened, turning slowly.

“Liz?” he grinned when he realized it wasn’t an angry gay man coming to bite his ankles “oh my god Liz” he purred as she flung herself into his open arms “wow, how are you?”

“Not as good as you are, shit Armie, you look good enough to eat.” she giggled and slurred her words a bit. Fantastic, three minutes in and he’s handling a drunk Liz. Just like old times. 

“Well thanks,” he shrugged and tried to disengage himself from her hug “you’re looking gorgeous as ever yourself.”

“Oh please,” he brushed at his bicep with her perfectly manicured nails “I barely get by.”

“That’s not what I hear,” he turned to see Nick chatting with a cute bartender and wondered if he could text him to bring him a gin and tonic.

“What do you hear?” Liz whispered in his ear, apparently, she had taken his momentary lapse of attention and used it to her advantage to get close to him again.

“I read that you and your husband opened a chain of bakeries and are doing very well for yourselves. Where is Todd?”

Liz’s shoulders slumped a bit and she took two small steps back “He’s here…” she flapped her hand toward the crowd “...somewhere.”

“Listen, I’m going to go and find Nick and get a drink but I’d love to catch up with you and Todd in a bit. I’ll come to find you.” he smiled and kissed her cheek lightly before moving on to the bar. He really, really, really needed that drink.

An hour and three gin and tonics later Nick and Armie sat at a tall round table with Liz and Todd, reminiscing about high school, past antics, and the twenty or so years since they had graduated. 

“Have you seen anyone else we went to school with?” Liz asked, sipping on her apple martini.

“Actually no, I don’t think I’ve come across one single person since I started college.” he knocked back his drink wondering how long he should wait before ordering another. 

“I’ve seen a few, Cheryl, Mark works at the company that supplies our linen. Oh and Timmy designed our inventory software.” 

Armie choked on a piece of ice he’d just sucked out of his now-empty tumbler. 

“Who?”

“Oh Armie, you remember Timmy? He was so smart and wait, wasn’t he the one you…”

“Do you need another drink, Liz?” Nick interrupted before they could get too far down that road.

“Yes please” she nodded and handed Nick her empty glass but it didn’t quite work as he’d planned. 

“You should see him Armie. Wow. Every girl in the office just melts when he comes in.”

“Who” Armie frowns “Timmy?”

“Yes” she nods emphatically “he doesn’t do much of his own coding anymore but since he knew me he came in a few times with the consultant and you’d have thought Ryan Gosling’s better looking younger brother was in the building. Random ladies who had no cause to be on the executive floor were hanging out on the executive floor.” she laughed loudly.

“Isn’t he gay?” Armie asked, throat dry as the desert.

“I think he’s bi but don’t quote me on that.” Liz shrugged “he’s not likely to show up to this thing though,” and then hopped off her barstool “be right back, gonna powder my nose.” She giggled again and kissed Todd on the cheek before stumbling off toward the restrooms. 

Not long after Liz had excused herself to go to the restroom, the three men were talking stocks when a flurry of activity caught their attention. 

“What on earth…” Todd said, his brows furrowed with curiosity. 

Liz came through the crowd practically vibrating with excitement. 

“He’s here! He came! I cannot believe.” She grabbed Todd’s arm and tried to pull him off his stool “I was just saying he wouldn’t come and then he just walked in.” When she couldn’t get Todd off his barstool she left him there, rushing back towards the front. 

Nick's eyes slid over to Armie who had gone white as a sheet. He pushed his half-full drink over in front of his best friend who picked it up without looking away from the doorway and drank it down in one gulp. 

“Whatever happens is fine Armie” Nick tried to reassure him but just as he said those words the crowd seemed to part straight down the middle and on the arm of a hyper-excited and chattering Liz was the most beautiful man Armie had ever seen. 

Gone was the skinny awkward boy. He had filled out nicely and grown several inches it seemed. His face was flawless, sunkissed, and sprinkled with adorable freckles that Armie had no recollection of. His hair was still long but instead of looking unwashed and shaggy it was a halo of chestnut-colored whorls that reached down past his ears. Had his lips always been that red, that pouty, that perfectly bow-shaped? Long dark lashes that Armie could see even from half-way across the room fluttered and framed his beautiful green eyes. 

The butterflies in Armies stomach ramped up to Mach II and he had no clue how he was supposed to feel. His heartbeat was pounding so loud in his ears. He felt like he was underwater and everything was a bit hazy, nothing made sense. Maybe if he was very quiet and very small no one would notice him escaping to the bathroom. 

It might have worked, It could have worked. But of course, it was not to be. 

“ARMIE” came Liz’s voice loud and high pitched enough for the people on the top floor to hear her. 

Timmy’s head whipped around and he looked in Armie’s direction. Armie was frozen in place, pinned to the spot by a frosty emerald glare. 

“Timmy come say hello to Armie and Nick...do you know Nick, he didn’t go to school with us but we were all friends,” she says as she pulls Timmy over to their table.

“You remember my husband Todd,” she puts her hand on Todd’s forearm and squeezes “and of course you remember Armie, we were just talking about you.”

“Is that so,” he smirks not taking his eyes off of Armie who, to be fair, hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of Timmy either. 

“Yes, I was telling him how you created the amazing software we do our inventory and books on...oh and this is the famous Nick.” she gestures over to Nick and he offers his hand for a handshake. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” Nick says smiling “Liz has told us lots about her software.” he chuckled.

“Armie Hammer’s heterosexual life partner.” Timmy nods at him with raised eyebrows “sounds thrilling.”

“Oh...haha” Nick peels the name tag off his jacket “it was a joke.”

“I’m sure.” 

“Oh my god I love this song, Todd come dance with me.” Liz manages to pull her husband off his perch this time and drags him out to the dancefloor.

The silence goes on too long for Armie to handle, “Excuse me” he says and makes a beeline straight for the men’s room. 

Armie is splashing cold water on his face and doesn’t hear the quiet snick of the door as it closes. So he’s properly surprised when a deep, sonorous voice says “Well if it isn’t Armie Hammer.” He jumps back and manages to get water down the front of his brand new suit jacket. 

“Shit” he mutters under his breath and grabs a paper towel to dab at the wet spots on the silky material, “sorry I didn’t hear you come in.”

Timmy shrugs lazily “Sorry to startle you, you didn’t use to be so...jumpy.” he slipped both hands into his pants pockets.

Armie huffs out a humorless laugh “I suppose I didn’t but a lot can change in twenty years.”

Timmy laughs a weightless, breathy laugh. That hasn’t changed much since high school and it makes Armie’s stomach tighten and roll “Indeed a whole lot can change in twenty years.” 

Armie stopped uselessly swiping at the water spots which had now thoroughly dried and were dotting all down the front of his light grey suit and quite visible. 

“Your husband said I should come to talk to you.”

Armie’s head whipped up so fast he might have given himself whiplash “My what?”

“Nick, your husband” Timmy chuckled again and shook his head “although I have to say I’m super shocked you have one.”

“Nicks not my husband, he’s been my best friend since we were kids. He’s just an idiot.”

“That makes sense,” he nods “I didn’t figure you’d ever come far enough out of the closet to marry a man.”

Bullseye. If Timmy had meant to wound him, he’d certainly found his sore spot.

“Look, Timmy, I know what happened back in high school was an awful, shitty thing. I take full responsibility for my part in it and I would like to apologize for it.”

“You want to apologize for it?” Timmy asks his voice just the other side of incredulous. 

“I do. I sincerely want to tell you how sorry I am and how stupid I was to do what I did. It was an unfair and idiotic thing to do and my only defense is that I was young and stupid and idiotic.”

“He wants to apologize,” Timmy says to no one and let his head drop back against the cool tile of the bathroom wall “again I’m shocked. I wouldn’t have thought you’d have given me another thought after that day.”

Armie took a step toward him but stopped when Timmy’s head snapped up. He sighed and tried again “Of course I gave it a thought, I think about it all the damn time. It’s the single worst thing I’ve ever done to another human being and it makes me sick to my stomach that anyone would do that to another person and I’m ashamed that I am that person. I did it and as soon as I did it I knew it was horrible but I couldn’t take it back.”

“You could have done something,” Timmy is the one who takes a step now “for seven whole months I was taunted, picked on, slammed into lockers, and the whole time you could have intervened. But you didn’t.”

“I spent those seven months fearing what would happen next. I couldn’t sleep. Do you know I was valedictorian? I told them I couldn’t do it. My senior year of high school was the most miserable time of my life and not that it was all great and wonderful before but after was a hundred times worse.”

“Timmy,” Armie said quietly “I know…”

“You don’t know anything Armie.” he spits out and jerked the bathroom door open to leave but before he stepped out the door he turned back “you know I loved you back then, I’d have done anything for you and all you could do was just shit all over me.”

Then he was gone. 

Armie turned quickly and went into the stall and for the second time in his life threw up over Timothee Chalamet.

When Armie finally emerged from the men’s room he saw Nick was dancing with the bartender he’d been talking to earlier. He quickly scanned the room and though he wasn’t looking for Timmy and was glad he didn’t see him. He did spot Liz standing near the door and made his way over to her. 

“Hey Liz,” he said as he tapped her on the shoulder “I’m not feeling well, will you tell Nick I’m going.”

“You’re leaving, but we just got started.” 

“As I said, I’m not feeling well, I think I just need to lie down.”

Liz looked at him worriedly and felt his forehead “You do look a bit pale, are you sure you don’t need me to get Nick?”

“No, he’s having a good time, I’ll be fine. Just let him know if you don’t mind.”

“Sure Armie,” she smiled and kissed his cheek “it was good to see you again.”

“You too, we’ll have to keep in touch.” 

In the hotel lobby he could breathe a bit easier, he stood waiting in front of the elevator just a bit too long and decided instead of going up to his room he’d go to the dining room and get himself something to eat and perhaps a lot more to drink.

The restaurant wasn’t crowded and the maitre d' sat him on the side in a booth. It was quiet and almost hidden from view of the main door. The sommelier had just taken his wine order when a shadow fell over the table and Armie knew who it was without bothering to look up. 

“Come to extract your pound of flesh?” 

“Just one pound?” he asked quietly as he took the seat across from Armie, throwing his jacket in the corner of the booth carelessly.

“Timmy…” he started but the waiter returned with Armie’s wine. 

“Would you care for a glass sir?” he asked Timmy 

Timmy picked up Armie’s glass and took a sip, letting the cool, red wine swish inside his mouth before swallowing it and returning the glass. 

“Actually, you have a bottle of good champagne in house don’t you?” he didn’t take his eyes off Armie for even a moment.

“Yes sir, we have several very good …”

“Bring us your most expensive bottle.”

“Sir…” the waiter began but Timmy flicked his platinum-colored key card out of his pocket, holding it between his middle and pointer fingers and raised it for the waiter to take. 

“Charge it to my room, if you have any trouble have the front desk call me.”

“Yes sir, right away sir.” The waiter disappeared and not a moment later another came out with another place setting and fresh glasses of water for the pair of them. 

Once they were alone again Armie raised an eyebrow at him “Do you even know how much the most expensive bottle of champagne they have will be?” 

“I’ll be disappointed if it isn’t the Veuve Clicquot. If it’s the Taste of Diamonds, that could cause some issues.” he giggled. 

“You have a finger on the pulse of expensive champagnes?” 

“When you’re rich you find things to spend money on. I like designer clothes and expensive champagne.” he leaned forward and motioned for Armie to do the same “I’ll tell you a secret though,” he waited for Armie to lean in “it all tastes the same.” 

He leaned back just in time as the waiter brought a shining sterling silver bucket on a wrought iron stand to the table and the sommelier was behind him with a gold bottle of champagne wrapped in cloth and two crystal flutes. 

He showed Timmy the bottle with a flourish and Timmy giggled again and then looked up at the gentleman “That may be the most perfect bottle you could have brought up.”

The man poured a bit into the glass sitting in front of Timmy. He made a show of looking, sniffing, and tasting the golden liquid before holding the glass out and nodding at the man “perfect.”

“What is it?” Armie asked when the two men had left them with menus and a promise to return soon for their dinner orders.

Timmy took another sip and pursed his lips, letting Armie squirm for a moment. 

“Armand De Brignac” 

“Who?”

Timmy rolled his eyes “The champagne, idiot, it’s Armand De Brignac, they call it the ace of spades.”

“Oh,” Armie said and downed the whole glass in one go. 

“Look, Timmy, I know an apology isn’t really enough but I swear I’ll make it up to you if you’ll let me.”

“Really?” Timmy blinked up at him, eyes wide with wonder until they went cool and distant “how the fuck do you intend to do that, Armie?”

“I don’t know...I...let me pay for dinner for starters.”

“You gonna pay for the ninety thousand dollar bottle of champagne too?”

Armie stuttered and choked on the champagne-his second glass- that he’d just taken a sip of “What the fuck are you kidding me, why the hell is it ninety thousand dollars?” 

Timmy shrugged “It's French?”

“What do you want Timmy?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you obviously want something from me, to torture me in some way or cause me pain for all the pain I’ve caused you. I’m fine with it, I truly am. I deserve whatever punishment you’d like to throw my way but I really wish you’d tell me. Let me know if there’s a damn thing I can do to make amends for the stupid thing I did twenty years ago.”

Timmy stared at him. A long, silent stare that started to make Armie feel small and uncomfortable. 

Finally, he sat down the glass of champagne he was still holding and leaned forward again and Armie immediately followed suit. 

“Honestly…” Timmy shook his head and gave Armie a thin smile “I don’t know. I’ve imagined every scenario under the sun if I ever saw you again but to be honest the reality of it is that I'm just so fucking angry. I’m angry that it happened, that I let it happen. I’m angry that you didn’t have enough...whatever you needed, to at least try to put a stop to it. I’m angry that all these years I’ve been working my ass off mostly just to show you up. I’m angry that I loved you and you couldn’t be bothered with me. I’m angry that I never really stopped.” 

Timmy picked up his glass and downed the rest of his champagne before refilling it. “So I don’t know Armie. I just don’t know.”

“Never stopped what?” Armie asked after another long silence.

“I think I want to take you upstairs and take you apart. Fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before and then leave you to think about it for the next twenty years.”

With impeccable timing, the waiter returned to take their orders.

“I’m assuming you’re still a meat-eater,” Timmy said with a sly smile then ordered two meals and a bottle of Veuve Clicquot sent to his room. 

He stood up grabbed the half-empty bottle out of the bucket by the table and started toward the door. “You coming?” he said not bothering to look back to see if Armie was following. 

But of course, he was. 

When Armie woke the next morning Timmy was gone. His head was pounding, his whole body ached and every time he closed his eyes flashes of the night before came back to him in bold, vivid color. 

Timmy pulling him through the door by his tie. 

Timmy pushing him down on the sofa and straddling him. 

Timmy’s mouth hovering so, so close to his but not touching. 

Timmy spreading him out on the couch and kissing him where no one had ever kissed him before. Fucking christ it had been filthy and so fucking hot and he had loved every second of it.

Timmy undressing slowly until he was gloriously naked, twirling around in front of Armie as if to say “see what you’ve been missing”

So much Timmy drowning all his senses until he couldn’t think of anything else. Only _Timmy and Timmy and Timmy_

He had taken him apart just like he promised he would. Laid him bare and scraped him raw from head to toe. Armie couldn’t remember a time when had ever been loved like that, fucked like that, worshipped like that.

An involuntary whimper escaped from Armie as he shot off the bed, ran into the bathroom and emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet. 

As he rested his head on the edge of the cool porcelain he realized this was becoming a habit.

Armie slumped down on the cool tile floor and pulled a clean towel down to cover his face. He took a few deep breaths and tried to take stock in what had happened in the last twenty-four hours. As he was making his internal list he quickly realized he’d developed some kind of feelings for Timmy. Sometime between seeing him for the first time in twenty years and waking up without him this morning he’d definitely grown more than attached to him. 

After an indeterminable amount of time, he finally pulled himself up off the floor and into the bedroom to begin the hunt for his clothes. He could only hope that Timmy hadn’t vindictively taken them with him. He smiled to himself thinking that was something the other man would do. But to his utter surprise his boxer briefs, pants, and shirt were folded neatly on the chaise lounge at the end of the bed. On top of them as a piece of the hotel stationery.

Armie closed his eyes, feeling the familiar sting of tears behind his eyelids and indulged himself for just a moment before mentally shaking himself and trying to steel himself for what Timmy might have to say. 

_“Armie,  
Left you a glass of water and some ibuprofen on the nightstand. Honestly, it’s more than you deserve. The room is paid up until one. _

_ Timmy”_

He was fucked. Timmy hated him and he was fucked. 

“I don’t know Nick,” he said quietly over the phone as he let himself into his house “I’ve never vacated a hotel at that speed before. I forgot you - I’m sorry, by the way - I forgot my clothes...everything. I just fucking bailed” 

“Dude, it’s fine. I figured something was up. Are you okay?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t even shower, that’s first on my agenda and then I’m going to sleep for days. Then I’ll reevaluate.” while they talked he had made his way through his house and into his bedroom and had never felt so relieved to be there. 

“I’m sorry man, if you need anything, give me a call. I’ll bring over your bag when you’re ready.”

“Nick…” Armie had to swallow past the lump in his throat, he’d sworn to himself on his way home in the fucking lyft that he was not going to cry again “thanks.” he managed to choke out. 

“Don’t mention it, get some rest” 

Armie hung up his cell and dropped it on his bed and started stripping out of his clothes as he made his way into the ensuite. Turning the water as hot as he could stand he stood beneath the scalding spray of multiple showerheads and let the water do what it could to wash away some of what ailed him. He scrubbed himself twice with his favorite body wash, knowing if he kept smelling Timmy on himself it would drive him crazy. Of course, as soon as he was clean, he started to panic. All traces of Timmy were gone and if he never saw him again…

He shut off the water and stepped out of the steam-filled shower into the cooler bathroom. He took a deep breath and tried to hold off the panic. He busied himself with wiping down the mirrors, shaving, and brushing his teeth. And that’s when he noticed the bruises.

He let his eyes fall shut and ran his fingers over the large purple bruise on the crook of his neck. He pressed down on it causing a hiss to escape his clenched teeth and bringing the memory fresh in his mind. 

Timmy so deep inside of him causing every part of him to ache for more. Their bodies slick with sweat and come and lube, Timmy pulsing inside of him causing Armie to babble the most ridiculous things. 

“Say it again,” Timmy, draped over his back, whispered in his ear, “say it again for me.”

“Please” Armie whined, “please Tim…”

“Please what?” he left a trail of wet kisses from the curve of Armie’s shoulder to his neck.

“Harder, please fuck me harder” Armie panted “I need it, please”

Timmy grabbed his hair and pulled his head to the side, sinking his teeth into the flesh of his neck. Biting hard enough to break the skin at the same time he pulled back and slammed into him again and again. 

“Touch yourself” Timmy commanded as he pulled Armie up by his hips “I’m going to come soon and if you don’t before I do you won’t get to.” 

Armie scrambled to get his hand between his legs. He knew it wouldn’t take much but he didn’t know how close Timmy was. If he didn’t come soon he was going to die. Luckily he’d been so close to the edge for so long it only took a few strokes before he was shouting Timmy’s name as he came harder than he can remember.  
Timmy’s hand snaked around the front of his neck to hold him in place while he fucked into him. He could feel it when his orgasm hit, he could feel it filling him up. Feel Timmy as he slowed his hips and tensed against his ass. He draped himself over Armie’s back again and smacked his flank. He was chuckling as he rolled off Armie into the empty spot beside him. 

Armie started to slide down but Timmy stopped him “Stay like that for a bit, keep it in there” he sat up and used his thumb to push the come that had started to seep out back in Armie’s reddened hole. 

Armie hissed but he involuntarily moved his hips trying to push the intruding thumb deeper. 

Timmy smiled “Dirty boy,” he removed his thumb and added two long fingers before Armie could complain “you like that, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Armie grinned, folding his arms under his head, content to let Timmy play with him. 

“Filthy” but even as he said it he was crawling over Armie’s tree trunk-like leg and pulling Armie by the hips again. He spread his ass cheeks and pressed his face between them. Armie yelped as Timmy’s tongue licked inside him. He moaned as Timmy sucked and kissed his sore asshole. He found himself hard again when Timmy pulled at his shoulder and spat the come from his mouth into Armie’s. He thought maybe he was in heaven when Timmy took his cock in his mouth, sucked him off with his middle finger pressed on his prostate and then hovered over him to let that drip into Armie’s mouth too. 

Later, they lay facing each other exhausted and sated but Armie’s brain still buzzed. 

“You aren’t going to kiss me?”

Eyes still closed Timmy grinned “probably a bad idea.”

“Timmy,” Armie said tentatively, unsure of how to go about this particular conversation “there must be some way we can put the past behind us, come out of the other side of this friends...maybe see each other again?”

Timmy finally opened his eyes and looked at Armie for what felt like forever. Then he leaned forward and for one brief moment Armie thought he was going to get his wish but instead of pressing his lips to Armie’s he pressed his face to his chest, opened his mouth and bit down. Armie whimpered but his hand went to the back of Timmy’s head to hold him in place. 

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” Timmy said sleepily when he finally pulled back “good night Armie.”

Armie opened his eyes and he was back in his house, standing in front of the mirror in his bathroom. Timmy had bitten his chest right over his heart and the ache as he pressed on it went much deeper than a bruise. He was going to sleep but when he woke up he was going to figure out a way to win Timmy over. 

At this point, he didn’t have any other choice.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy continues to be a dick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can not even begin to express my gratitude to EVERYONE who read, commented, and left kudos. I am stunned and amazed this little fic got the response it did. You guys are AMAZING and I love you all!!! 
> 
> I also apologize it took soooo long for me to update. I was trying to make this a two chapter and done endeavor but these boys have a mind of their own and will not give me peace with any sort of ending just yet. Since it had been so long I wanted to give you guys something since you've been so lovely and patient. So I've added a 3rd chapter and we'll hope I can get it done in 3!
> 
> So, here is chapter 2. I hope you enjoy. <3<3<3
> 
> unbeta'd and edited by me so all mistakes and boo boos are mine and mine alone. <3

His head was spinning so fast he could hardly think. He wasn’t sure how he ended up here. He’d come in early like he always did and suddenly he was being pulled into the supply closet by Armie Hammer.

Armie fucking Hammer. 

Being shoved in a small space by a jock is not exactly a new experience for him but for the jock to follow him in and crowd him up against the shelf was entirely new. His rapid heartbeat and swirling thoughts can attest to that. 

He didn’t know whether to be scared or thrilled. All he knew was that his dick had been interested the moment Armie put his hand on his arm. 

“Just hold still,” Armie whispered and Timmy couldn’t do anything but comply even if he didn’t know what form of humiliation this might be. 

Then Armie kissed him. 

Not a little peck on the cheek or soft press of lips but licking into his mouth, biting his lip, gripping his hips to pull him closer kind of kiss. 

Timmy was lost. Armie’s mouth was so warm and velvety soft, his hands were so big and seemed to be everywhere all at once. All he could do was try to hold on and keep up. He had no clue what was going on or why this was happening but he had the feeling it wouldn’t last and he wanted to make the most of it. 

Timmy’s fingers wove themselves into Armie’s thick hair, his hips pressed against the other boy’s as close as he possibly could. Armie moaned into his mouth and it felt as if he may burst into tiny fractals that Armie could mold into whatever he wanted him to be. 

Armie’s hands had just reached his ass and squeezed when the first bell rang pulling them both back into reality. The haze took a few seconds to clear and he could see Armie’s eyes dark with arousal. 

As if he was in a trance Armie reached up and ran his thumb slowly over his bottom lip. Timmy thought he was going to kiss him again when his eyes widened and he jumped back like he’d just been burned. 

“Fuck” he hissed 

“Armie what…”

“Shut the fuck up Timmy, let me think a fucking minute." 

Timmy squeezed his eyes shut tighter. The memory in the dream had taken him straight back to that day. waves of fear and confusion and shame and hurt roiled over him threatening to take him under. He was almost afraid he’d open his eyes and be back in that closet twenty years ago and he’s not sure he could make it through that day and its aftermath again. 

Eventually, he opened his eyes and he was not, in fact, in a closet with Armie but in the bed with him. 

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

He should have never come to the reunion. He should have never spoken to Armie Hammer again. And he sure as fuck shouldn’t have fucked him. 

Stupid. 

He glanced at the man beside him and instead of the anger he expected he felt elation. Instead of a sense of righteousness, he felt guilt. Instead of feeling detached and distant he felt attraction and closeness. 

Armie was on his stomach, sleeping soundly. Little puffs of air from his open mouth tickled Timmy’s shoulder where his head rested. Timmy found himself wanting to wake him with a kiss. Push him over onto his back, crawl on top of him and kiss him until all he could taste was Armie and all Armie could taste was him. 

He had to go. 

Timmy slowly and silently extracted himself from underneath the other man. He couldn’t help but allow himself a moment to enjoy the sight of Armie sleeping peacefully. He let his fingers brush his hair back from his face and before he could overthink it he bent and kissed his temple. 

Stupid.

“Lo,” Nick grumbled into the phone obviously having been asleep. 

“I’m sorry, I know it’s 2 am but I need to know how to woo a billionaire.”

“Seriously?” 

“I slept for like 12 hours and now I’m awake and I have all this energy and I need a plan, a good plan, on how to win Timmy over.”

“Call me later.” Nick sighs and the line goes dead.

“Fuucckkk.”

Armie is pacing his bedroom a few minutes later when his phone rings and he makes a dive for it. 

“Look asshole, you know you’re an asshole, right…” Armie is nodding even though Nick can’t see him “you shouldn’t call people in the middle of the damn night and ask them to help you come up with complicated schemes so that you can get laid again, it won’t end well. 

And people generally don’t have their best ideas when they’re groggy and tired. So how about you try to go back to sleep, or hit your gym and work off some of that energy and then meet me at 8 at The griddle cafe, you can buy.”

“Done” Armie agreed immediately 

“Goodnight idiot.”

“Night Nick, thanks”

Nick gives a weary sigh and then hangs up. 

Well aware his gym won’t be open for hours yet he pulls on some sweats and his Adidas and goes for a jog. 

“Good afternoon Timothée, how are you enjoying Palm Springs?” 

“I’m miserable without you Shell” he cooed making her giggle “how are things there?” 

“Fine, running smoothly…” she paused before continuing “except, we’ll…” 

“Now I’m worried. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard you stammer.” He tried teasing her, whatever it was it couldn’t be that bad. 

“Oh hush you,” she laughed “it’s just... I’m hesitant to mention it because I don’t want to worry you.”

“Spill it, Shelly.”

“You’ve been getting a lot of calls the last week or so and then yesterday a giant man showed up in the lobby demanding to speak with you.”

“When you say, giant…” Timmy said trying to keep his voice steady.

“Well above six feet,” she sighed “handsome if the security tape is anything to go by, stubborn, terribly persistent. He’s left 48 messages in the last three days alone. He seems to really want to get in touch with you. Tim, he’s sent flowers, like, a whole damn flower shop full of flowers. I wanted to send you the security tape and if you think we should I’ll alert the local police.”

“Armie Hammer?” He asks.

“So you do know him.”

“Next time he calls give him my cell number.” 

Shelly is quiet for a moment before asking “Timmy are you sure?”

“Definitely, and have Pete start re-routing the flowers to my home address.”

“You’re the boss,” she says and smiles when he answers “yes… yes, I am.” 

Armie: **you’re a hard man to find**

Timmy: _not if you know where to look_

Armie: **you left without saying goodbye**

Timmy: _I’m a busy man_

Armie: **got time for dinner?**

Timmy: _I’ll check my schedule when I get back_

Armie: **from???**

Armie stared at his phone willing it to buzz or ding or chime. But it lay on his desk mocking him for an hour and a half until he got up and went into the kitchen to fix himself a drink. Three drinks later when his phone still hadn’t made any kind of noise he threw it across the room. 

Timmy: _I’m back in town if you’re free_

Armie: **I don’t know, I’ll have to check my schedule.**

Timmy: _sure, let me know_

Armie stared at his phone, crossed his arms over his chest and vowed not to answer Timmy for at least three days. His resolve lasted twelve minutes. 

Armie: **You do realize I asked you to dinner three weeks ago, right?”**

Timmy: _ yes and I was in Indonesia and thus unavailable. I’m back now if you still want dinner._

Armie: **why didn’t you say that, would have been better than just leaving me hanging.**

Timmy _who are you, my mother, I was on a business trip, I said I’d text, I’m texting_

Timmy: _you want dinner or not_

Armie:**There’s a nice little Italian restaurant near me, do you like Italian?**

Timmy:_everyone likes Italian, I’ll bring over some things and make you the best manicotti you’ve ever had_

Timmy_then I can fuck you on your kitchen island_

Timmy:_text me your address_

Amrie swallowed past the lump in his throat and squeezed the one forming in his jeans. He closed his eyes and leaned his head on the back of the couch. He wanted Timmy to come over and fuck him so badly but couldn’t stand the thought of it going the same way it had gone last time. He didn’t think they should pursue anything sexual until they’d had a chance to talk about things. Asking Timmy to come here would be disastrous for talking about things.

Armie sat up and rolled his neck on his shoulders. He picked up his phone from the table in front of him and stared at Timmy’s last text for several minutes. Before he could second guess himself he typed out his address and quickly hit the send button.  
He was going to hell. He was sure of it.

The doorbell rang and Armie froze. He’d been frantically cleaning his house ever since his texts with Timmy. He took a moment to fold the rag he’d been using to wipe down his counters in the kitchen and then headed for the front of the house. 

He could see the outline of the Timmy through the opaque glass that framed the large front door. He hesitated just a moment to enjoy the sight of him before he opened the door to whatever reality Timmy might be bringing with him tonight. 

Despite his trepidation, Armie couldn’t help the genuine smile that spread across his face at the sight of Timmy in black ripped jeans, a white t-shirt with a peach on it, and a brightly colored cardigan sweater. Only Timmy would go from a bespoke suit worth thousands to torn Levi's and a cheap t-shirt. 

“Hey,” he said “come in, come in- let me take some of that-,” he took two of the brightly colored, reusable, grocery bags from Timmy leaving him with the last one, “did you find the place okay?”

“Mmmm” he hummed as he followed Armie through the house.

The silence from the other man was causing Armie’s stomach to knot and by the time they reached the kitchen, he felt like he was wound tighter than he’d ever felt in his life. He set the bags on the counter and turned to see Timmy looking at the framed black and white photo on the wall in the hallway just outside the kitchen door. 

“Did you take this?” he asked without looking away from it.

“My friend Ashton did.”

Timmy stepped closer to the picture and his lips turned up into a slight smirk “It’s you.” it wasn’t a question. 

“Yes.”

Timmy ran his finger along the curves of the nude body in the picture.

Armie felt as though he could feel it on his body. 

“He has a good eye.” Timmy smiled and turned into the kitchen “you have a nice house, Hammer.”

“Thanks” he whispered as Timmy passed in front of him to dump his bag on the counter with the others. 

“So, I need a large baking dish and a large mixing bowl, point me in the right direction.”

“Baking dish under there,” he pointed to a cabinet right behind Timmy’s legs, “and the mixing bowl,” he reached up and over Timmy to grab one off the top shelf, his chest brushing against Timmy’s as he did so “is here” he sat the bowl down on the counter by the bags. 

Timmy was looking up at him with wide innocent eyes that Armie knew belied the truth, but he couldn’t help but be drawn in by them anyway. 

“How about you go and pick out some wine and I’ll throw this together.”

“Sure, you care which wine?”

“No, surprise me.” He grinned up at Armie “and how about some music too?”

Armie went over and grabbed his phone and in just a moment ‘Fade Into You’ by Mazzy Star filled the room.

“Will this work?” he asked showing Timmy the playlist on his phone.

“Perfect” Timmy grinned. 

“Timmy…” 

Timmy poked his finger in Armie’s chest and pushed him back far enough to slide around him “wine Hammer, we need wine.”

Armie sighed and decided to get a good bottle from his wine cellar. Putting a bit of distance between Timmy and himself would be a good idea and the cellar would help cool him off. 

He took his time picking out a nice merlot and pouring two glasses. By the time he was back in the kitchen, Timmy was sliding a covered baking dish into the oven. 

Armie crowded in behind him once he straightened up, reaching his glass of wine to him and wrapping his arm around his waist when he took the glass from him. He let out a relieved breath when Timmy melted against him. 

“I’m glad you texted” Armie whispered in his ear before placing light kisses down his neck.

Timmy pressed him back with his hips and turned to face him. “You’re a dangerous man Hammer” he smiled and put his hand over Arnie’s heart and pushed him back until Armie was the one pressed against the counter. 

Timmy stared at him while letting his hand slowly slide up his chest, smirking when his fingers brushed past pebbled nipples and flat out grinning when Armie shivered as he wrapped his hand around his neck and gently pressed his thumb into his Adam’s apple. 

“You like that don’t you?” Timmy let his hand continue its journey, his fingers scratching the scruffy beard before he let his thumb run across Armie’s bottom lip “you always did have a sinful mouth…” 

Timmy opened his mouth slightly and transfixed Armie mirrored the action allowing Timmy to slide his thumb between his lips. Armie closed his lips around it and lapped at it with his tongue. He couldn’t take his eyes off Timmy, he could see the flash of ice in his eyes and when it was replaced with heat. 

Timmy turned up the glass of wine and drank it down. “Unbutton your shirt,” he said it quietly but Armie immediately obeyed. 

When Armie reached the last button Timmy pulled his thumb from between his lips and stepped even closer, letting his leg slip between Armies.

“That bruise is beautiful” he placed gentle kisses and soft kitten licks all around the yellow and blue mark over his heart, “I wish I’d seen it when it was fresh.” He bit down again on the same spot although not quite as hard as last time.

Armie whimpered and grabbed at Timmy’s waist as his hips bucked forward. He let his head fall back and tried to figure out if he wanted Timmy to stop or go on forever. 

His fingers dug into the flesh at Timmy's waist causing the smaller man to pull back and grin up at him, “Do you want to bruise me too Armie?”

“Fuck yes.” He breathed out

Timmy chuckled “If you’re a good boy maybe I’ll let you.” he stepped back “take off your pants.”

“Here?”

“That’s not being a very good boy for me Armie.” Timmy turned to pour more wine for himself, “we can watch Netflix if you’d rather”

Armie started to unbutton his jeans and got as far as unzipping them when the quiet command of “underwear too” came.

Armie hooked his thumb inside the elastic band of his boxer briefs and pulled them down along with his jeans. 

“Beautiful” Timmy sighed “turn around”

Armie did as asked, standing there waiting and wondering for several moments until he felt Timmy’s fingers dance up his back making him shiver again. 

“So responsive.” Timmy murmured.

“Timmy” 

“Shhhh, I’ll take care of you.”

He let his hands roam over Armie’s body slowly. Skimming his palms and fingers over his thighs, over his ass and squeezing it hard, tickling up his sides, back and arms. Tiny chill bumps appear whenever he lets his fingertips linger on a spot. When he’d had his fill of warm skin he grasped the collar of Armie’s shirt and pulled. 

He tangled the shirt around Armie’s wrists so they were trapped together against his lower back. “You’re a beautiful man, Armie” he whispered as he kissed and bit across his back. 

Timmy put his hands in the middle of the taller man’s back and pressed until his chest was flush with the counter “spread your legs for me sweetheart” he said as he wrapped his hands around Armie’s neck letting his fingers press into the delicate flesh there. 

Armie moaned as he complied. 

“Don’t move” Timmy whispered in his ear and then bit the fleshy lobe and sucked it into his mouth causing Armie to gasp, “stay still for me.”

Armie shivered as Timmy stepped away but he fought the urge to turn his head to see where the other man had gone. For some strange reason, he trusted Timmy not to leave him here. 

Luckily his trust wasn’t tested long and Timmy was back in a matter of moments. Armie gripped the material of the shirt wrapped around his wrists to steady himself. He wished he had an easy way to steady his heartbeat. 

He could feel the heat of Timmy standing close behind him, hear the quiet susurrus of his movements and then the soft snick of a bottle being opened. He heard all of these things but was still unprepared for Timmy’s slick fingers against his hole. 

His hips involuntarily canted back trying for more contact as Timmy spread the cool lube over his furled entrance. “Be still,” he whispered and tapped his fingers twice before removing his hand from Armie’s body “or I’ll stop” 

“Please” Armie groaned “you’ll kill me if you stop.”

“Shhhh” Timmy bent and replaced his fingers with his tongue, lapping and then probing inside. 

“Fuccckkkk” Armie whined when he added two fingers, the stretch of the fingers burning but the warm, wet tongue sending shocks of pleasure all through him. 

Timmy stood and removed the shirt from his wrists, “You should put your hand on your cock, you can’t come this time.”

“What...Tim…” his words were cut off with a sharp smack to his flank. His hand immediately went to the base of dick and squeezed. 

“Good boy.” Timmy chuckled as he pressed himself inside Armie’s tight heat, “fuck you feel good.”

Timmy held himself still letting Armie’s body acclimate to the intrusion. Armie wanted none of that. 

“Timmmmmyyy” he whined and rolled his hips “Tim, please move” 

Timmy didn’t wait for him to ask twice as he gave a hard thrust and set a fast pace. He sunk his fingers into Armie’s hair and pulled his head back holding the man in place as he pounded into him. 

“Timtimtimtimtim” Armie chanted with every thrust, his grip on his cock tightening as every brush against his prostate drove him closer to orgasm. 

“Are you close” Timmy panted into his ear “are you close Armie?”

Armie whined and nodded unable to form the words.

Armie felt Timmy stiffen and then fill his body with his release. He felt Timmy let himself melt over his back and couldn’t help feeling a sting of hurt when he realized he hadn’t even taken off his t-shirt.  
“Fuck that’s nice” Timmy pressed a brief kiss to his shoulder “don’t move” he directed as he slowly pulled out. Armie was about to ask if he could move now when he felt something cool, slick, and blunt at his aching entrance. 

He shivered again when he realized Timmy was inserting a plug inside him.

“We want you good and wet for later, don’t we.” Timmy said with a chuckle and patted his ass, “are you ready to eat?” he pulled Armie’s shoulder signaling him to stand. 

Armie stood slowly and stretched his sore muscles “sure, just let me get dressed.”

“Don’t bother.” Timmy shrugged “you’ll just be getting undressed again soon.”

“You want me to eat naked?”

Timmy laughed “Where’s your sense of adventure?”

Armie crooked an eyebrow at him “Will you be naked too?”

“Would you like that?”

“Yes,” Armie nodded.

Timmy was quiet for a moment before he nodded “Tell you what, why don’t you take the wine into the bedroom, I’ll make us a plate and we’ll eat in bed.”

Armie woke up alone.

He shouldn’t have been surprised. He wasn’t surprised. He was pissed. 

On his way through the house to find his phone, he saw a note on the counter exactly where Timmy had fucked him last night. 

_I had a plane to catch, gone to Canada for a week or two, text you when I’m back_

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” he rolled his eyes and continued searching for his phone. 

Armie: **this whole thing is ridiculous, no kissing, leaving in the middle of the night, you made all these rules without consulting me you know.**

Two days later he got his reply;  
Timmy: _left you a note_

Armie: **fuck off**

Timmy: _okay_

Armie: **stop Timmy, stop being such a dickhead and talk to me.**

Timmy: _board meeting, back on Thursday will call then_

Armie sighed and went back to bed. 

“Morning” 

“You look like shit” 

“Thanks, Nick, I appreciate that.”

“Why do you look like shit, Timmy keep you up late?” he asked with a salacious wiggle of his eyebrows.

“Fuck off Nick,” Armie answered with a bit too much heat. Nick knew him too well and would now know something was wrong.

“Spill it, Hammer.” 

“Leave me alone, Nick,” he said as he went into his office and shut the door. 

He should have known that would do him no good. Five minutes later Nick strolled in with bagels and coffee. 

“Breakfast and coffee.” he said setting the bagels on the glass table by the corner window “we’ll chat while we eat.”

“I don’t want to chat.”

“I’ve known you all my life and I’ve never known you to not want to chat. Put the file down and come over here and enjoy this nice bagel I’ve provided.”

“I hate you.” Armie groused but he acquiesced just the same. 

“So...things are not all well and fine with you and your love?”  
Armie sighed folded his arms on the table and put his head down on them, “Nick, this is not a great morning for this.”

“No morning is a great morning to talk about love trouble. May as well go ahead.”

“I hate you.”

“That’s the second time you’ve said so if you say it again, I’ll have to believe it and find another life long best friend.”

Armie propped his chin on his forearm and rolled his eyes “He’s still angry,” he shrugged “he comes over to my house, we fuck, and he leaves.” 

“Wait...STILL...Armie it’s been four months, are you telling me you’ve been letting him get away with that shit for FOUR MONTHS?”

“Stop yelling.”

“I haven’t even started yelling yet.”

“Nick…” Armie sighed and put his head back down “it’s so complicated.”

“No. No, it’s not. You tell him either he gets his shit together or stops coming by to get his rocks off.”

“You have a lovely way with words.”

“I’m serious Armie, you fucked up but you’ve repented enough. He shouldn’t be allowed to torture you forever because of some stupid mistake you made when you were sixteen.”

“I know but…”

“No.”

“I love him, Nick.”

Nick groaned and banged his head on the table several times before replying “I know you do Armie, but if he can’t or won’t love you back, you can’t keep letting yourself be jerked around.”

“Nick…”

“Armie, I will kick his ass. And yours.” with that he grabbed his coffee and left Armie to think.

“Would you take it?”

“Why would you even want me to have it...why do you let me continue to be such a shithead to you?”

Armie tilted his head to the side and sighed “Timmy…” he closed his eyes against the sight in front of him “you know why.”

“That makes it so much worse.”

“Take the fucking key Timmy, I want you to have it. Can you at least do that for me?”

Timmy reached out and took the key and shoved it and his hand in his jeans pocket “I’m not giving you mine,” he added petulantly “just so you know.”

“Thank you for making this truly romantic moment that much more magical.” Armie whose shoulders were slumped in defeat smiled sadly at him and turned to go inside, closing the door and for the moment shutting Timmy out. 

Timmy stood there with his head back staring blankly up at the sky for several minutes before huffing loudly, getting in his car and driving away. 

He had only made it half a mile away before the burning in his eyes became too much and the tears spilled over his cheeks. He pulled over on the side of the road and pressed his heels against his eyes trying to somehow stop the steady flow from his eyes. He kept seeing Armie’s face last night as he fucked into him, the look he had when Armie begged him to kiss him. The hurt and disappointment when he repeatedly refused. The utter exhaustion he felt at having to hold himself back from having the one thing he wanted most. Falling asleep with Armie in his arms, spent and satiated. Sleeping through his alarm and waking up with Armie’s mouth on him making him mutter things he shouldn’t have. 

But every time he thought of giving in to Armie and letting go, the memories of his last weeks of high school came back. The shame and humiliation of being surrounded by football players who took great pleasure in calling him names, hurting him, terrorizing him. Looking everywhere for help when there was none. Seeing Armie round the corner on countless occasions and every single time hoping this would be the time he would put a stop to it and every single time he would simply pass them by with his head down and eyes averted. 

He knew they couldn’t go on like this. It wasn’t fair to either of them. He took the key out of his pocket and turned it over in his hand for several minutes before making a fist around it. He took a deep breath and picked up his phone. Now that a decision had been made he needed to set it in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't kill me <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy figures things out, Armie realizes what he already knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have arrived at the end!!! Thank you all soooo much reading. Mostly I have to thank you for being patient for this last chapter. I know it's taken forever and I'm sorry, life got in my way and I slacked. I'm sorry. You're wonderful and patient and kind. MWAH! 
> 
> Thanks to dreamsofhorses for helping. Much love to you Boo.

He was agitated and pacing by the big windows. He’d nearly worn a path in the bland beige carpet that covered the whole floor in the tastefully yet boring office of his therapist. 

“Timmy come sit down.”

“I don’t want to sit.”

“I gathered” the older man grinned “but I want you to try an exercise with me and for it to work I need you to be calm and centered.”

“What about me seems calm and centered Mack?”

“Right now, nothing, which is why I’m trying to get you to sit down or lie down on the couch.” 

Timmy heaved a great sigh and stalked over to flop down on the brown leather couch. He closed his eyes and rested his clasped hands on his forehead. “Great, I’m calm and centered, now what?”

“Take a few deep breaths, Tim,” Dr. Mackenzie said in his most soothing voice. He had been treating Timothee on and off for over twenty years, he knew how to best deal with his moods. He flicked the pendulum of the metronome that sat on the table by his chair and gave it a moment to settle into its quiet rhythmic ticking. Thirty beats per minute.

Quietly he said, “Just listen to the ticking Tim, try not to think about anything other than the ticking. Try to block out everything else.”

Silence filled the room as Timmy’s breathing leveled out and he relaxed. The low ticking of the mechanical gadget on the table lulled him into a hazy half-sleeping state. He made a mental note to get one of these wonderful soporific devices for when he couldn’t sleep. 

“How are you feeling?” the doctor asked.

“Mmmmgood.” Timmy mumbled

“Are you happy?”

“Mostly,” he lifted his shoulder a fraction of an inch as if to shrug off the question.

“How do you feel when you’re with Armie?”

Timmy frowned “Guilty”

“Why does being with Armie make you feel guilty?”  
“Because I love him”

“Shouldn’t that make you feel happy?”

“It does sometimes but then I feel guilty because I’m treating him like shit.”

“Why do you think you treat him like shit?” 

“Because he treated me like shit a long time ago and I can’t seem to get over it.”

“Don’t you think it’s time to let that go?”

Timmy gave a weak snort of laughter “Uh yeah...that’s why I’m here. After twenty years it’s past time I let it go but I can’t seem to figure out how.”

“Just take your hands off of it and let it go Timmy.”

Timmy snorted again and let his arms go slack. His right slid off the couch and hung limp, his fingers grazing the floor. “That easy huh?” 

“No, it takes a bit more work than that but it’s a start. For now, just rest there a moment and let all the bitterness and hurt leak out onto that beige carpet you hate so much.”

Timmy managed an actual laugh at that. 

“Think about when you’re with Armie, look past the guilt, tell me how you feel when you’re with him.”

“I don’t know...good.”

“Too vague, good how?”

Timmy was quiet for a moment then he turned his head and opened his eyes to look at the man sitting across from him “Safe, loved, wanted.”

“It would be a shame to let that go because of something that happened more than 20 years ago.”

Timmy closed his eyes again and let his head roll back on the couch, “Yes, it really would”

Armie checked his phone for what was probably the millionth time and there was still no new text from Timmy. He had driven away from Armie’s house that day with a newly-cut key to his house and Armie’s whole heart in his hands. He had managed to do a fair amount of damage to one of those things with one text not thirty minutes after he had left. 

_I can’t keep doing this to you or myself, I have to get some things straight in my head before we can go on. I’ll be in touch._

Armie had immediately texted him back; ** please don’t do this Timmy, I’ll help you do whatever you need to do.**

_I just need some time_

**how much time**

_I promise not to take too long. I’ll call when I’m back_

That was three months ago and Armie has had no word since. He’s gone through every emotion under the sun about it and has no clue where to go from here. Even the ever-helpful Shelly, who now only looks at him with pity in her eyes, can’t-or won’t- help him locate Timmy. 

No amount of alcohol makes the pain go away and every single thing makes it worse. If something doesn’t give soon…

Armie crawls into bed and pulls the covers up over his head. He knows the only thing that will happen is that he’ll keep waiting. He can’t make himself give up on Timmy no matter what. He knows that now, after all the pain and torment they’ve put each other through they have to be able to get through this. Armie sealed his fate twenty-one years ago when he pulled that skinny, awkward boy into a closet and kissed him. He didn’t know it then but it’s become glaringly apparent now that he’s never been the same since. 

Timmy walked out onto his patio and inhaled the fresh mountain air. He pulled his cable knit cardigan closer around him and leaned against the railing. Although he didn’t get to see it often, the sunrises here were his favorite and since he wasn’t getting any sleep he thought he’d at least get some enjoyment from that. 

“It’s not even six,” Nikki said from the doorway

“Go back to bed” he shrugged 

“Why are you awake?” she asked and handed him a fresh, hot cup of coffee in his favorite mug.

“I keep you around for a reason, sometimes I’m reminded of it.” he grinned and blew on the hot liquid to cool it. 

“Please, you’d be lost without me.” she flopped down in the Adirondack chair and narrowed her eyes at him “so, who is he?”

Timmy choked on the sip of coffee he’d just taken “What?” he sputtered when he stopped coughing.

“You’ve got that mooney look, you’re distracted and you can’t sleep. I know if you can’t sleep there’s an important man involved. I am usually aware when you’ve got an interest but I must be slipping, so I’m asking. Who is he?”

“Fuck off Nikki” 

“Nope”

“You’re fired,” he said turning his back to her.

She barked out a laugh, “Definitely not. Wow, he’s really got your panties in a bunch. I need to meet him now.”

“Unlikely,” he said quietly.

“Timothee Chalamet are you crying?” Nikki stood and immediately went to him “Jesus Timmy what the hell is going on?” 

“It’s a long story.”

“We’re in the middle of Montana where there is fuck all to do. I’ve got time.”

Timmy gave her a watery smile and sighed, “Let’s go in and make breakfast.”

“Waffles?”

“Yeah” he sighed again 

“Wow, this is bad.”

They sat at the table, a pile of food and dirty dishes between them. Nikki looked into Timmy’s tear-streaked face and threw her head back and laughed “My god. Men. Timmy that shit was twenty years ago...and you’ve gone back to therapy? Why didn’t you tell me you’d gone back to see Mack?”

“I know but…”

Nikki shook her head, “Never mind, listen. You’ve had a thing for this guy for a long, long time. He’s probably your person,” she threw her hands up “I’ve only seen you like this one other time and you almost married that guy and what did you tell me when you refused to marry Rob? You told me it just didn’t feel right, that he didn’t feel like the one. Don’t you think that Armie might be the one for you?”

“Of course I think he might be the one for me Nikki, I’ve fucking held onto him in one way or another for twenty fucking years. But now I’ve fucked the whole thing up.”

“By dicking him down and then ghosting him?” she rolled her eyes “Yeah, that’s a fucked-up flight plan but if you really think he’s the one you have to fight for him.”

“I don’t...I mean, I don’t even know where to begin. I did start seeing my therapist again and I think I’ve made some headway but...I don’t know.”

“That’s what I do” she smirked, “I fix things, I’ll help you fix this.”

“What if he doesn’t want to fix it, I’ve been gone almost three months Nik.”

“Fine, just give up and grow old and alone with farm animals, you like farm animals don’t you. I’ll call tomorrow and see about some chickens.”

“Nikki” he whined “farm animals?” he shook his head “fine. Fine. Book us some flights back to the city. I guess it’s time I faced the music.”

“That’s my boy.” she grinned and whacked him over the head with the newspaper.

Timmy took out his phone and looked at the last text he’d sent Armie:

_I promise not to take too long, I’ll call when I’m back_

Vague, short, inconsiderate considering the amount of shit Armie had already endured from him. Over time Armie’s texts had gone from inquiring to understanding to furious to cruel. His last one was a request for the key to his house back. 

Timmy didn’t blame him. 

So instead of calling or texting Timmy let himself into Armie’s house as soon as he got home. It was 2:45 a.m. and Armie was sleeping soundly in his bed. 

Timmy sat on the side of the bed and pressed his lips to Armie’s. It was manipulative and his therapist would be furious but he thought it best to go big or go home.

“Armie” he whispered 

“Hmmm” he mumbled sleepily “time s’it”

“Wake up Armie” he whispered again and kissed him again.

That time Armie’s eyes flew open with a jolt. 

“Timmy” his voice was sleep roughened and low “what the fuck.”

“I just got in from the airport, I came straight here.”

“Well leave the key and go home.”

“Armie I’d like to talk to you.”

“I don’t think we have anything left to talk about Tim.”

“I’m sorry I left the way I did but I had my reason.”

“I don’t care and I have to get up in four hours for work.”

“Armie please.”

“Please what Tim, please what? Let you come back in here and fuck me again? Wake up in the morning to an empty bed. Continue to allow you to be my emotionally unavailable fuck buddy. I don’t want those things, Timmy, I don’t want to go back to doing what we were doing.”

“What if we tried something different, something more.”

“Tim...please...I’m begging you not to do this to me again. I’ve …”

Timmy leaned forward and pressed his lips to Armie’s again. He tentatively moved closer waiting for Armie to accept or refuse him. 

“Tim” Armie sobbed against his lips just before grabbing the sides of his face with his hands and deepening the kiss. 

Timmy reveled in the kiss. His tongue rolling against the warmth of Armie’s making him feel weak and feverish just as it had all those years ago. 

“Timmy” Armie sighed and pulled his head back smiling as Timmy leaned in to chase his mouth “I still think you should go home.”

Timmy’s eyes were glazed and unfocused when he looked up at Armie “What?”

“You should go home tonight and tomorrow we should start from scratch.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean tomorrow after work we’ll go on a first date...a _real_ first date and we’ll go from there.”

“You’re asking me on a date?” Timmy grinned.

“Yes.”

“Will you come to my house and pick me up?” Timmy looked down at his hands before adding “I can give you my address, it’s not far from here.”

Armie’s smile widened “Yes, that sounds good.”

Timmy leaned forward and kissed him softly again before digging in his pocket for the key to the front door. “I’ll leave this here,” he said and placed it carefully on the nightstand.

“I’ll walk you out,” Armie said throwing the blankets off and standing.

They ended up on the front stoop where they had parted the last time Timmy was here. This time however Timmy’s arms were around Armie’s neck and Armie’s hands circled Timmy’s waist holding him close as they kissed goodnight. 

“Drive safe” Armie waved as Timmy got into his car. 

“Armie” Timmy rolled down his window and called to the man who was walking back towards his house. 

“Yeah.”

“I love you.” he smiled and pulled out of the drive. 

Armie stood there for a long time, smiling, looking up at the stars. 

1 YEAR LATER

“Babe, you here?” Armie closed the door and started through the house, his nose leading him into the kitchen “hey gorgeous, what is this?” he gestured to the mess on two different counters before grabbing Timmy and pulling him in for a long, deep kiss. 

“Dinner” Timmy sighed when Armie finally released him, “I thought I’d make your favorite, I just didn’t realize there were so many moving parts to it.” he chuckled “it should be ready by next fall.” 

Armie laughed “It’s fine, I’ll just nibble on you instead.” he buried his head in Timmy’s neck and started giving him gentle nips with his lips and teeth.

Timmy tilted his head to the side to give him more room but soon pulled back and took Armie’s face in his hands “if you keep that up I’ll never get this souffle in the oven.”

Armie sighed and relented letting Timmy go but he added: “I don’t need a souffle when I’ve got you to eat.”

“Noted” Timmy smiled and continued to chop up the ingredients, “Oh hey, the movers called, they’ll be here tomorrow to deliver the rest of your things.”

“That’s good, it’s about time.” 

“Movers work on a mysterious schedule, no one knows how it works.”

“Well thank god you’ve got that king-sized bed or I’d have been out of luck this past month.”

“Nothing but the best for my baby.” 

“Although I didn’t know it was possible for anyone as small as you to take up so much room in one huge bed.”

“It’s because I want to be close to you and you keep rolling away,” Timmy smirked.  
“You want to be close to me...that’s why you spread out like a starfish?”

Timmy just nodded “Yep”

“I guess from now on I’ll just have to let you sleep on top of me.” 

“Now see, there’s an idea.” 

Armie leaned in to kiss him again but he put his hand on his chest to stop him “Why don’t you go and pick out a wine and when I get this in the oven I’ll let you fuck me on the countertop.”

Armie closed his eyes and nuzzled at Timmy’s temple “Now see _that_ is a good idea.” 

Timmy’s grin widened when Armie kissed his forehead and turned to go get the wine.

He doubled over laughing when he heard Armie call out “OK ALEXA PLAY LET’S GET IT ON” 

“You’re an idiot” Timmy called over Alexa’s robotic voice responding to the command. 

“But I’m your idiot,” Armie answered just before the music started to play.


End file.
